How to Slow Down Your Metabolism - 8 Methods You Shouldn't Try

Having a fast metabolism is a blessing. You can pretty much eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and not gain weight. This, of course, ignores the health implications that come from overeating junk food. But still, most of us would prefer to have the problems and challenges that come with having a fast metabolism.

Sadly, you have a slow metabolism. Or you can't seem to lose weight. Or both.

Related: Find the Best Fat Burning and Weight Loss Supplements

If you can't speed up your metabolism to save your life, you've come to the right place. This article focuses on habits and practices that can slow down a metabolism. By avoiding these metabolism killers, you might just have a chance to burn through more calories each day and shed that unwanted body fat.

How to Slow Down Your Metabolism

Method #1 - Sit Most of the Day

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Stop moving. Become a complete slug. In fact, it's best that you try to not even blink. Close your eyes, stagnate, and let your body become one with your office chair or couch.

The average person burns 100 calories per hour just sitting. This is based on weight, of course. If you are heavy you'll burn more. Good news for the morbidly obese. Just kidding, kind of.

Standing burns about 30% more calories per hour. Whoop de doo.  So you'll burn 130 calories instead of 100. That's a lot of effort for little return on investment.

Netflix and chill it is, bro. #sluglife #nomsayin

Reality: Sitting is one of the worst things you can do for your health and metabolism. Besides, most of us do more than stand when we stand. We are walking, working, etc.

Method #2 - Dehydrate Yourself

Don't focus on water intake. It's OK to take a few sips per hour, but nothing more. It's time to get dehydrated! Why? Good question.

Dehydration slows down all the body's cellular processes. Brain function. Muscle tissue efficiency and repair. Nerve firing. You name it, lack of water slows it. In fact, researchers found that dehydration can slow your metabolism by up to 2%.

Reality: Proper hydration is essential for all aspect of health and wellness. Set a minimum water intake goal each day to keep your metabolism running as it should be.

Method #3 - Mess Up Your Circadian Rhythms

No, a circadian rhythm is not something you do in the bedroom. So don't get your hopes up. You're not going to have less sex, though that will slow your metabolism as well.

When you fly, drive long distances, or disrupt normal sleeping patterns, you actually disrupt the normal patterns that keep your metabolism and body cycles functioning optimally. Stay up late - way late, drive long distances, or fly to Australian every weekend.

This will definitely mess up your metabolism. And the combination of driving long distances while staying up late (and sitting for extended periods of time) is a double whammer metabolic-crushing hammer.

Reality: Sleep deprivation is the key offender here. Try to go to bed at the same time each night.

Method #4 - Become a Vampire

Hide from the sun as much as possible.

30 minutes of sun exposure equates to approximately 10,000 IU of vitamin D. Sun exposure also reduces stress and improves your overall self of well-being and happiness.

Vitamin D is essential for proper hormone function, and for preservation of muscle tissue. Avoid the sun and you'll be - well - hormonally challenged. That doesn't sound like fun at all.

Reality: Vitamin D deficiency has been associated with numerous metabolic diseases and lipid dysregulations. Vampires might seem cool, but they have slow metabolisms.

Method #5 - Undereat Protein

Protein not only fuels an increase in calories burned post-workout, but it also assists with muscle recovery and repair. If you want to destroy hard-earned muscle tissue. or never build muscle tissue in the first place, keep protein intake to a minimum.

Or at least guess at your intake and assume you are eating enough.

The addition of muscle tissue increases your metabolism. The more you have the more calories you burn.

Reality: Weakness is never a good thing. To really boost your metabolism and quality of life, make sure you take resistance training seriously.

Method #6 - Try a Starvation Diet

Severely undereating is a good way to slow your metabolism to a crawl. Your body is forced to ration energy, and certain functions are slowed - or even slowed to a minimum.

Providing energy to your brain and vital organs is the first priority. After that you're on your own. The body will become less efficient at tasks that keep your muscles and movement rocking full speed ahead.

While we can debate (to no end) how many calories are considered "too few," I suggest that men go no lower than 1,800 per day and women no lower than 1,200 per day. Focus on eating mostly clean, healthy foods, and combine this with regular exercise.

Reality: Fad diets and starvation diets are not sustainable. If you're trying to lose weight, stick with something sensible that can be slightly modified after the weight is off.

Method #7 - Take a Lot of Drugs!

No I'm not talking about pot or acid. I'm certainly not talking about cocaine or heroin. What I mean here is prescription drugs.

While high blood pressure, bad cholesterol, morbid obesity, and diabetes are all health-destroying conditions, many of the medications used to assist in the battle against these conditions can slow down your metabolism.

No, I'm not telling you to stop taking your medications. What I am saying is that you should be trying to control these conditions with your food choices and proper exercise. This will not only make you healthier, but exercise and diet should also eventually free you from bondage to multiple prescription medications - and the metabolic slowing that can come from their use.

Reality: When possible, medications should be considered a short-term solution. Try to fix your health as much as you can with diet and exercise. You got sick because of a bad lifestyle. It's time to turn things around, and improve your metabolism, using a good lifestyle.

Method #8 - Eat Processed Foods With Plenty of Toxins

Want to slow your thyroid function? Load up on foods rich in MSG, toxic preservatives, nasty trans fats, and random emulsifiers. Add in refined sugar and white flour, and boom... you're metabolism is in trouble.

A study on mice found that those consuming a diet high in preservatives and additives experienced noticeable abdominal fat gain. They also showed signs of insulin resistance and development of type 2 diabetes.

Reality: Maintain a healthy thyroid, and a faster metabolism, but avoiding packaged, canned, boxed, and processed foods. Avoid as much white sugar and flour as possible, and run from fast food choices.