45 Ways to Tell - Are You a Serious Lifter?
There are two types of people: Those who go to the gym and exercise, and those who go to the gym and train.
How do you know if you are serious about your training? Do you go beast mode? Do you have tickets to the gains train?
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If you do, you should be able to relate to most of these 45 ways to tell if you are a serious lifter.
Are You a Serious Lifter?
1.) You consider hitting parallel squats as being too high.
2.) You are on a first name basis with the local butcher.
3.) You measure your food in pounds only.
4.) The toughest day of the week for you is rest day.
5.) You've been told you are too big and you thank them.
6.) You carry your barbell around with you.
7.) You buy a different car because your shaker bottle didn't fit in the cup holder.
8.) Your post-workout meals get you kicked out of all you can eat buffets.
9.) You wake up and take a snort of Nose Tork instead of coffee.
10.) You have a backup gym back "just in case."
11.) You have a crew of spotters.
12.) You own five pairs of Chucks, some squat shoes, and shoes for cardio, but only own one pair of shoes for everyday life.
13.) You have at least two cans of hairspray in your bag.
14.) You know of at least three ways to use hairspray to squeak an extra five pounds out of a lift.
15.) You are Googling how to use hairspray to increase your lifts.
16.) You don't know what day of the week it is but you know what you are training that day.
17.) You'd rather spend your rent money on food.
18.) People stop asking you if you even lift.
19.) You are too swole to put on deodorant without leaning into a wall.
20.) You are too sick or tired to go to work or have sex but will be at the gym promptly at 7pm as usual.
21.) The only reason you lose sleep is if you have a huge PR on the horizon.
22.) You keep superglue in your gym bag.
23.) You eat before you go out to eat.
24.) You get teary-eyed thinking about breaking a PR.
25.) You get teary-eyed after your partner breaks a PR.
26.) You can't do basic arithmetic but you can immediately tell how much is loaded on a bar.
27.) You use vacation time at work for powerlifting meets instead of going on a vacation.
28.) Your wife or girlfriend slaps the hell out of you before you attempt a PR.
29.) If your underwear looks like Swiss cheese after a good training session.
30.) You start sizing up vehicles to deadlift.
31.) You set a PR three months after a surgery.
32.) You own five beer kegs but you do not drink beer.
33.) You carry a tub of chalk around in case you have to pick something heavy up.
34.) The smell of cat pee makes your adrenaline pump.
35.) People move out of the squat rack when you step into the gym.
36.) No one bothers you in the gym.
37.) People quit handing you fragile things because they think your meathook hands will crush it.
38.) You don't post every day that you're in the gym.
39.) You record your lifts to analyze them, not to show off.
40.) You spend more time doing compound lifts than curls, bro.
41.) You are like the mailman; you are at the gym rain, sleet, or snow.
42.) You call a pound of bacon a "pack of bacon" and proceed to eat it all for a snack.
43.) You use the term womperjomber to describe an amount of food.
44.) People actually listen to the lifting advice you give.
45.) You measure your protein intake by the smell of your farts.
There's a lot of things that separate the hardcore lifter from the gym bros. Spending hours in the gym every day making noise and throwing weights around to get noticed is for the fakers.
Go to the gym, smash the weights, and get out. Know exactly why you are doing every exercise and stick to the basic fundamentals of building muscle if you want to be a serious lifter.
While most of these are funny, they are things I've watched many of my elite lifter friends exhibit. Between the 500-800+ pound bench pressers who lean into a wall to put on deodorant to watching powerlifters glob superglue into their ripped callouses, these guys are the 1%ers.
If you want to make progress in the gym, train with a purpose, spend time improving your craft, and be a savage.