Unfortunately society binds us to certain constraints that do not allow us to show off our gains. Each day we are forced to wear shirts and slacks instead of stringers and tanks.
There is one exception to this rule. There is one time of the year where it is not only acceptable, but also encouraged for us men and women to ditch our suits and reveal them glutes. That's right folks that time of the year is upon us
Now you may be thinking to yourself: "I've spent so much time making gains in the last year and Halloween is but a mere few weeks away." Have no fear. Tiger Fitness is here to help you find the right costume that shows off all of your gains even if you just started bulking 3 weeks ago and nobody can tell you even lift.
These costumes will make you the king of the party. They will make women flock to you like you were an MTS Pumpkin spiced latte.
A symbol of strength and size, Superman was lifting back before it was cool to be lifting.
Spooky Gains! These 10 Costumes are all Trick and No Treat
#1 - The Incredible HulkNow this costume is a no-brainer. It costs almost nothing yet shows off all of your gains.
I'm not talking about the store bought plastic version either. Simply take your skinny jeans, you know the ones you wore 3 years ago, and cut them off just above the knee. Dye the rest of your body in green body paint.
Now you will be able to tell all your friends that you're going green. Overall cost: Under 5 dollars
#2 - SupermanA symbol of strength and size, Superman was lifting back before it was cool to be lifting. Superman is arguably the most recognizable superhero on the planet, and he is 100% natty.
This is a classic choice that never can go wrong. There's a reason Soulja Boy made a song about this superhero back in 2007.
Youuuuu should be Superman for Halloween.
#3 - BatmanAnother superhero? You're damn right it's another superhero.
What is there not to like about Batman? Batman is rich, drives a fast car, and always gets the best looking women (with the exception of that chick that replaced Katie Holmes in the Dark Knight, that chick was busted). Not only does Batman have the physique but also has that dark sense of mysteriousness that women love.
Batman is the best superhero of all-time there I said it.
#4 - Arnold Schwarzenegger in most any movieOkay maybe not any movie, you might not want to dress as Arnold Schwarznegger from Junior unless you like looking like a pregnant bodybuilder (and no I'm not talking about that GH gut). I would also avoid being the Arnold from the Expendables 3 because that movie just was plain bad.
The good news is this leaves several options
The Terminator comes to mind. Or if you're tall and have an extremely short friend go with the Twins option. If your friend doesn't mind being Danny DeVito. There's always the original Conan the Barbarian if you're into 70's B movie magic.
You can't go wrong with any of these options dressing as the king of bodybuilding himself.
#5 - Marc LoblinerAnother solid option guaranteed to scare those #dadbods away. Simply buy a hat and shirt from TigerFitness.com, then proceed to cut a big piece of cardboard into a triangle before stapling it to your back under your shirt.
Note: flavor saver facial hair optional.
#6 - WolverineHugh Jackman actually lifts as he can be seen deadlifting over 500 pounds on a regular basis. Put a bunch of gel in your hair, make some fake claws, and people will know who you're trying to be.
#7 - BaneIf you still have one of those high altitude training masks you wore to the gym that one time, break it out of the closet because you actually have a use for it now.
The only other thing you need for this costume is about a 6 month dirty bulk and a weekly split of Traps/Traps/Traps/Traps. Start consuming Ben and Jerry's now and you just might bulk enough to be passable by October 31st.
#8 - Some character from the movie 300I don't remember this movie really well, but I just know you can wear a cape, a loin cloth, and carry around some big stick yelling "this is Sparta!" It will likely cost you zero dollars.
Let's hope your mom doesn't get mad you ripped up your only bed sheet to create the costume.
#9 - ThorThor clearly lifts and carries around a giant hammer. There's not much more that needs to be said here.
#10 - Injured CrossFitterFor this one all you need is some bad form and a fake cast. People will instantly get the idea.
If any of your friends do CrossFit and you're afraid of offending them good they likely aren't your friends anyways.
Honorable MentionsThe Situation: This would be a great one if it were still 2011.
Street Sharks: The most underrated cartoon of all-time. These sharks were jacked and quite possibly the first half-natties to be featured on television.
The Rock: No, I'm not talking about the actor I'm actually talking about a rock. Zero percent bodyfat. All gains.
Halloween is the one time of the year it is socially acceptable to show off them gains. Don't let this time of year slip by because once it's over, you'll be back to wearing shirts again in public in no time.