Being the big girl was basically all I knew and just who I thought I was. I was around 9 years old when I started to really gain weight. I was held back in the 2nd grade and I remember it was embarrassing to see my classmates move on while I stayed behind.
I always remember loving sweets and not really having the signals shoot off, like OK your good, you can stop now. And eating was a comfort. It felt good.
And when I was young, i didn't have the knowledge really that eating your emotions will make you fat. I did occasionally get picked on, getting called fat by mean boys or even the group of girls I hung out with and considered to be my friends. I was at a birthday party where the girls ganged up on me calling me fat names where I hid under the blanket and cried, meanwhile they froze my bra.
Being chubby also put you in the category of boobs as a 5th grader. I used to steal food and hide it in my room, so at some level I knew it was wrong. I faked sick one time so I could stay home and use my Easy Bake Oven and consume all the little cakes. But it was my normal, and I didn't know how to stop it or that it could even be stopped.
Growing up fat as a teenager is not fun, i wanted to wear the cute tank tops that all the girls were wearing but instead I wore giant sweatshirts and yes, JNCO jeans. I surrounded myself with the more alternative crew in high school, where I didn't feel as judged. I tried track in high school but that ended up being just me sitting in the hallway eating snacks, watching other people do laps, I eventually got kicked off and was asked for my uniform back.
I hated gym class, who wants to sweat at school? Not this chubster. Honestly, i knew I was fat, but I had pretty much accepted it. It was just who I was.
Please Detail Your Turning Point
I coasted through school, flunking out of my first college experience which sent me back home to my parents basement where I attended another 2 year school which I barely went to class. So here I was in my 20s, in a dead end relationship, smoking weed in my parents basement, overweight, and working at a bookstore.
I eventually told my parents i was done with school. I had no future plans. At this point in my life I probably was about 225lbs. And I did here and there "try" to lose weight with Atkins, but I also remember eating way to much Arbys at my mall job to be really considered trying.
So in my mind I knew I needed to find something to do. I didn't want to live with my parents forever and they sure as sh*t didn't want me to either. So I just started looking at careers and massage therapy popped up. And I thought maybe I would be good at that. So my sister helped me find a school, I signed up and then I started massage school January of 2005.
Once I got in school, I was one of the only fat people. There were a small handful of overweight students. Once I started learning the hands on portion I saw why. It's physical. So I first quit smoking.
By the end of school, I decided I didn't want to be a fat unhealthy therapist. I didn't want to be like the many nurses I had growing up that here large and in charge telling me I had to lose weight. December 2005 I graduated massage school and also got a YMCA gym membership which from that point on I have worked out 5-6 days a week for the last 10 years of my life.
What Were Your Major Struggles or Challenges?
A couple. One, finding comfortable workout clothes as a very plump women on a budget was difficult. Finding a bra that supported my then giant boobs was tough, but I just kept at it and bye bye boobs.
People will show their true colors whether they want to see you succeed or fail. At the time I was in a relationship holding me back, and once I got rid of that back fat I was free to become who I was working so hard to become.
My transformation took a full year and a half, and losing the weight was the great part. Maintaining the weight loss is the long struggle. I struggle to this day with the fear of becoming what I once was, and frustrated that I was ever there in the first place. You get to that point where your weight loss stops, but you have to keep working out and keep eating healthy without the dropping in pants size so there is no longer that giant satisfaction of you are killing it.
Detail Your Workout and Cardio Plan During Your Transformation
During my transformation I started very slow, ellipticals all the way. Thighs rubbing, for 45 minutes a clip. I remember just plugging my chubby ass along watching my sister run on a treadmill in front of me.
One day my sister took me out for a run. We jogged for 30 seconds then walked, then jogged then walked. Then I started doing that on the treadmill. I wasn't focused on weights at the time. I just wanted so bad to melt this blubber off. So I signed up for my first 5k, ran a full mile for the first time in my life during that race and almost threw up at the finish.
I kept at the running. My sister who had run marathons was really helping me along, and soon after we did a 15k, and then eventually I ran my first marathon. So that first year and a half I really focused on running, and I got down to about 140. But after time, you have to change it up.
Once I got the weight off, I started doing a little lifting, not really knowing what i was doing. Now my workouts are a lot more even with cardio and weight training. Every week I like to hit each body part with lifting at least once, and I do something different for cardio everyday I workout.
Detail Your Diet/Eating Plan During Your Transformation
I cut out all fatty foods, I didn't drink alcohol either. I would eat lots of salads, chicken, yogurt, I ate a very low fat diet.
Now my maintenance diet is a lot different. I have a love of food that I don't deny myself. But I do keep it in check. I will keep track of what I'm eating now and again to make myself mindful of how much I'm really eating.
At this point i know when too much is too much. And I like to eat foods that fuel my body. I love vegetables, fruits, and lean meats. Cake, donuts and wine are no longer denied. I just try to make my lifestyle balanced for me.
Detail Your Supplement Plan During Your Transformation
I didn't supplement at all during my weight loss. Once I started to become a little more knowledgeable about weight training I began experimenting with different products.
Right now I love a good pre-workout which I'm currently using MTS Ruckus. I also love MTS Uptake which is really helping with my digestion.
What Was Your Major Accomplishment, or Major Milestones?
Being able to shop wherever the f*ck I want to shop, huge. Running 3 marathons with my sister, huge. Wearing a bikini in Jamaica and feeling confident was pretty titties too. And this, writing this, and sharing my story.
Detail Your Biggest Mistakes
Maybe focusing on cardio too much, I feel as though my process led to where I am today and I'm good with that. Maybe spending 150 dollars on p90x, that was a mistake.
3 Biggest Things You Learned During Your Transformation?
I learned that I wasn't meant to be a fat girl, I was meant to be tall, lean and muscular. I learned how to run, literally. I got schooled on health and food and taught myself how to swap out ingredients so I didn't have to give up certain foods I love. I learned that high waisted Lululemon pants are life.
Final Words of Advice for Others Looking to Make a Change?
You will never know what you can be if you don't try. Taking little steps to get there even if it take you over a year to get there. Getting rid of negative people who don't have your best interest in mind. And holding close the ones that support you and believe in you.
My weight loss is very personal, it is something that I have been uncomfortable to share. Most people who have met me in recent years never even have known I was ever a big girl.
2016 for me is about pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and I don't want to deny myself the struggle and the hard work I have put in. I hope by sharing this I can inspire someone that they don't have to be a prisoner in their own body.
I hope that people who have never had a weight struggle can step back from judgment and see that everyone has a story behind the fat.