Ah, the age-old question, isn’t it? Well, I have to say, that in my experience, my life runs me half the time.
I am sure I am not alone. I have to really stop and think about how I am in charge of my life and not the other way around, and in all honesty, I probably only do this about half the time.
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What does “your life running you” actually mean, though? Does it mean that your overwhelmed with your day to day life and just can't concentrate? Does it mean your kids are running amok and you cant control them?
What is it?
Well, I am here to help you and in doing so, I hope to also help myself. I know, right? Blind leading the blind over here, but it takes a village...
So, here it is.
9 Ways You Know Life Is Running You
1. You are not living authentically
Ok, buzz word, right? Well, yes, I know this word is kinda overused, but honestly, it’s one of the only words that work.
Living an “authentic” life means you live your inner inside truth on the outside. Scary, right? You don’t lie, you are who you are and in doing so, people know where you stand.
People can feel if you are not sincere. You can almost smell it on someone. Hell, even children can sniff that out.
2. You mindlessly do what you are told
You do not question, you do not wonder if the person doing the telling is right, you just do what you are asked to do without ever thinking twice. This to me shows that life is running you, because you have decided to not make a decision - one is made for you.
If it is the wrong decision, you have someone else to blame - a boss, a spouse, a parent. You are no longer in control of your own circumstance as you are being told where to go, what to do and how to do it.
I always get my panties in a bunch when someone says, “I was told to do this and look what happened? I got screwed over! They did this to me.” Oh, Lordy, don’t get me started!
3. You don’t take the blame
This can be a big mistake. You need to take ownership of everything. Like even if you got screwed in a raw deal, even if your mother's brothers kid ran off with the inheritance, etc.
Those things were not your fault, but you need to be responsible for yourself and how you react to it. Yes, harshly, you are to blame for every circumstance in your life.
Calm down, it's just another way of saying you own your circumstance, and even though you may not have put yourself there, how you react to it is everything, so own it. Owning your reactions gives you way more control than you think.
4. Not doing what you love
That's a big duh, right? However, its way easier said than done.
You have a kid, a mortgage, a family relying on you, and you have to pay some bills. You take a job you hate to do that, right? We have all been there. I have worked some pretty awful jobs to feed my family.
Here is where the tough love comes in. If you hate it, change it.
So, if you want to be a painter, but need to feed your family, then do a side hustle. Don't whine about how hard it is, that you cant do it, that your staying up late and are tired. Those that want it, do it.
Period. The end.
5. Letting fear hold you back
Fear is a killer of dreams and causes you to be stuck. It's easy to let life pass you by, because your too scared to do stuff. This one is a biggie for me as I am pretty much scared of everything.
Fear can suck the life out of anything you do and leave you paralyzed, not doing anything, so nothing gets done. It makes one regret their life looking back, because they just didn’t do anything.
No decision, just pure... Nothing. nada. The only way to take control with fear, is to move through it and just do it anyway. It's terrifying, but if you do it enough, it gets easier.
6. Not going with your gut
This one is probably controversial, however, in my own experience, if I go with my gut, I am nine times out of ten doing the right thing. Fear will try to stop you, but if you move through it and listen to your gut, it will likely pan out.
If it doesn’t pan out, then so what? Your birthday wasn’t taken away. You get up off your tushy and you start again.
7. Unable to roll with it
When you can't roll with the punches life gets exponentially harder. Yes, keep getting up, putting in the time, being consistent and life will reward you eventually.
If you want something, go after it. That sounds so motivational, right? Well, it's not. It is a ton of hard work and life seems to try to get you off track, but stay that course, roll with the punches.
8. Afraid to say no
Yup, if you are doing too much, overextending yourself, spreading yourself too thin, there is no reason you can't simply say no. I have learned that I am a yes person, and I feel racked with guilt trying to help someone and will overextend myself.
This actually helps no one, since the work you put in or the help you give may be half-assed because you don’t have time or have spread yourself too thin. Most people understand when you say no. If they do not understand, then that is on them, not you.
9. Being inactive
I have found that action trumps everything. So you want to go with your gut and do something super-scary, like run with the bulls.
You are told over and over that your nuts, you are going to get gored and that you’re just not right in the head if you want to do that. No, you don’t want to get gored, but you kinda do want to go.
You feel like its the right thing to do. You cut out magazines about it, you plan it, but you don’t go. What a waste!
Action. Action makes everything happen, so that you are actively engaged and owning your life.
When you turn 80 and look back on your life, will you remember that? Heck yes, you will, and you will be riddled with regret.
Oh, and a little piece of advice - when you do decide to go to Spain and run with the bulls? Bring someone slower than you...
I have a lot of experience in this arena. For so long I let life rule me instead of me taking ownership and getting things done. For me, the fear is the one I identify with the most.
Knowing that life is ruling you is half the battle. When you know it, you can change it. But I have to tell you, it takes vigilance and perseverance to even realize that you are getting ran over by life.
The above is common sense. The above is pretty dang simple - like stupid simple.
However, just because it is simple does not mean that it's easy. These steps will hopefully get you to awaken from your cocoon stupor and get you moving in the right direction.